What Are The 4 Phases of Love Bombing? Pay Attention
While the process of love bombing itself may seem harmless. After all, who wouldn’t want to be showered with lavish gifts and told how beautiful and amazing they are? The problem comes with the fact that this is not genuine love but part of a negative cycle will destabilize the individual making it hard to maintain their boundaries. Unfortunately, love bombing is less about love and more about creating dependency and allowing for control.
Love bombing is most often associated with narcissistic individuals who use it as a manipulative tactic that starts a cycle of abuse that can be hard to get out of.
The Narcissistic Love Bombing Cycle
The problem with narcissistic love bombing is that the fairytale romance and grand gestures don’t last. And before long the love is being withheld and the manipulation begins. Narcissists have an over inflated sense of self importance and an excessive need for attention and adoration. Love bombing drawers in their supply of attention and validation, but it is a false image they are presenting and the mask soon slips.
Stage One - Love Bombing
The love bombing stage involves showering the recipient with gifts, compliments and commitment. This makes the other person feel good and boosts their self esteem as well as making them feel dependent upon and obligated to the narcissist.
Stage Two - Devaluing
Once the initial love bombing phase is over, and the individual is suitably in love, loyal and enmeshed in the relationship the next stage of devaluation begins. Devaluation can happen through withholding love and affection, put downs, gaslighting, projection and blaming the target for all the narcissists problems. The illusion that you have found your soulmate is suddenly destroyed which can be emotionally devastating. Ignoring love bombing is possible, but not necessarily recommended.
Stage Three - Discarding
Once the narcissist is no longer getting what they need from the relationship they will discard their partner in favor of a new supply. The narcissist may suddenly remove themselves from the relationship or do something that makes the other person leave.
Stage Four - Hoovering
This stage involves the narcissist trying to maintain contact and stay close to their partner. Offering seemingly sincere apologies or using other manipulative methods to suck them back into their lives. They may try to prove how much they have changed, reach out for help, claim they will never find anyone that compares to you, or deliberately flaunt their new supply.
If the hoovering is successful the love bombing can begin again and the cycle of abuse continues.
Is Love Bombing Always A Sign You Are Dealing With A Narcissist?
While love bombing is often a symptom of narcissism, narcissists are not the only people capable of love bombing. Insecure individuals may make over-the-top gestures to try and win someone over. Feeling scared that without this the person might abandon them. .
It is also important to recognize that not all romantic gestures equate to love bombing. Thoughtful gifts or gestures and expressions of affection may well be part of the early stages of a relationship. But if they feel over-the-top or as if they aren’t genuine then talk to your partner and see how they react.
