Live Coaching with Anna - April 9, 2025

Changing habits that have been there for a long time

What was your first experience with a man that was bad?

Pattern: I get treated poorly, I people please, I lose myself, I leave to find myself again, repeat. Unable to get my needs met.

We need a new mindset, and pave a new path.

Ask yourself - what do you need to change? How can you say no to things that are not connected to your values the next time you tend to fawn/people please? Catching yourself with pleasure when you want to say no.

Pay more attention to your values for a new way of thinking, so you can stop even paying attention to the men who aren’t aligned with you.

Awareness that my own timeline/blueprint of what I think should be my reality - the misalignment is causing me pain

First - Honour your feelings, your sadness and frustration around it.

Then - ask myself, do I want to be unhappy because of this blueprint I’ve given myself?

Happiness is a choice. Staying unhappy about it will only delay your timeline.

Set an alarm - I will allow myself to be sad about this for 5 minutes a day, then I move on.

Ask yourself - do I want to stay in this? Is this actually helpful? 

How would you feel if you surrendered to the outcome? How would you accept it?

Don’t attach yourself to a label of how you were in your past relationships

Just because you were one way in a relationship with a past partner, doesn’t mean you’ll be the same in a future relationship. It’s a dance - they will be different, so will you. Don’t box yourself in.

Focus on how you want to show up. How do you want to show up?

Focus on being your authentic self instead of worry about how it's going to turn out

Focus on having a good time and meeting them and having them meet you.

Enjoy yourself above all else.

What’s the purpose of the boundary? Protection.

How do you feel about protecting your children? Very strongly.

Hold steadfast on your boundary. If you’re loose with it - it’s not providing you protection. The boundary should be your protection.

I’m afraid to hurt or cause pain to anyone and this causes me to want to break my boundary

He can’t see the children unless he changes his behavior. 

Also you’re teaching your children about how to hold strong boundaries and feel protected in them.

Tune into knowing what you need when you need it. Listen to yourself and what comes up for you.

Pick one thing that makes you feel connected. I.e. dancing, reading a book, cooking a meal.

You’re so focused on feeling connected, you’re aware of all the ways in which you’re disconnected. So if you want to feel more connected, do things that make you feel more connected. Journaling, listening to music, dancing alone.