How Do You Mend a Broken Heart? Top 7 Tips From Experts
The process of mending a broken heart can feel extremely overwhelming, and the struggle to move forward can be immensely difficult. You might feel like you need significantly more time to heal than the average person. That can be discouraging, especially if you’re trying to close the page on a chapter of your life.
However, getting over a broken heart without years of grief is possible, even in the most improbable situations. If you’re struggling to move on after a relationship breakup (or a similar end to a relationship), there are a few things to consider.
1. Narrow Your Search From “How to Mend a Broken Heart”
The concept of “how to mend a broken heart” is extremely broad. You’ll have a difficult time if this is the question that you’re asking. Everyone will have a different process of healing, and trying to skip right to the end, with a quick fix, is likely to cause more heartache along the way.
Instead, try to narrow your goal and question. Ask questions like, “How do I stop obsessing over my former partner?” or, “Is it normal to go through the stages of grief in a bad breakup?” These give you specific, actionable, and attainable goals that you can gradually work through and toward.
2. Ask Your Friends, “Help Me Mend a Broken Heart”
Friends and other loved ones are an underutilized resource when it comes to getting through a romantic relationship turned sour fast. As a matter of fact, they should be the first people you look to when something goes wrong in a relationship, and they can help when you’re having an especially hard time.
Just spending a few hours with a close friend can be enough to distract you from the problems you’re experiencing with your love life. While it’s important that you allow yourself to feel these emotions, it can also be exhausting to feel them all the time. Treat yourself to some “time off” from this stress with your close friends and family members.
3. Understand Possible Gender Differences – How Can a Man Mend a Broken Heart?
Men and women often have a different frame of mind when it comes to healing from a broken heart. Some people erroneously believe that when a relationship falls apart, the woman will always take it harder than the man. Gender stereotypes aside, the truth is that anyone can feel acute emotional pain when a relationship ends - not just women.
Nonetheless, men and women do often process the pain of their relationship ending differently. Men can feel more uncomfortable if they’re publicly grieving the end of a relationship, while women can feel more uncomfortable if they’re not. Give yourself permission to grieve in the way that feels best for you, not how you feel like you “should” be grieving.
4. Prioritize Individuality: How Can I Mend a Broken Heart Specifically?
Heartbreak isn’t one-size-fits all. Nonetheless, there are many preconceived notions on how a person can react to heartbreak, or how they should deal with it. No matter how well-meaning, some people will try to put you in a box with their assumptions. You need to allow yourself to react to your environment as a unique person even still.
Everyone can feel better when they follow a few steps: you can surround yourself with people who love you, focus your attention on taking care of yourself, and give yourself time to heal. However, each person will benefit differently from different solutions. You should trust yourself enough to guide you to that place.
5. Recognize That Several Methods of What to Do to Mend a Broken Heart Can Be Effective
When you start exploring options for mending a broken heart, you’ll certainly find dozens (and maybe even hundreds of methods) passed around. Which ones are best? How do you know which you should pursue and which to pass over?
The thing is, the path to move forward is going to be different for each person. All of these things can be beneficial for different people. Take stock of how you’ve previously worked on pain in your life, and consider options like online therapy programs to find the mending process that will work best for you.
6. Consider Extenuating Factors: For Example, How Do You Mend a Broken Heart When You Have Kids?
Some techniques for mending a broken heart may advocate for options like the no-contact method, where you completely end communication with your former partner. This can be helpful for some people, but what if you have a child together? This can throw a massive wrench in your plan of using these methods.
Instead (especially if you have a reason to have remained friends with your former partner), look for methods of handling emotional pain that takes into account these factors. Online therapy can be helpful here, as you will get individualized help tailored to a unique situation.
7. Always Look Toward the Silver Lining of Mending a Broken Heart
It may not feel accurate right now, but remember: a broken heart can benefit your life overall. Too often, people in the middle of a stressful and painful situation only remember that things hurt, and they fail to see how things can get better in the future.
This is exactly what Jillian Turecki champions in her book Grit & Grace: 7 Steps to Survive Heartbreak. It’s not just there to help you get over your broken heart – it’s there to help you grow as a person and become stronger through the pain. It’s a step-by-step protocol that’s about evolving and changing as a person, not just getting the pain to subside.
How Do We Mend a Broken Heart? Respect and Individuality
Ask any relationship coach or therapist. They’ll tell you that if a person is struggling with a broken heart, they need to respect themselves and invest into individualized care, especially a kind that helps them work through their own hang-ups. You don’t need to be a dating coach to understand that.
Whether you’ve already started dating or you’re so deep into your heartbreak that you can’t imagine ever dating again, there’s hope for you. You’re never too far gone to be “unsavable.” You can grow and heal from your pain. You just need the right tools to do it.
