How to Have a Relationship with Yourself: 8 Tips for Self-Love
The most important person in your life will always be you. You’re with yourself 24/7, which is why it’s important to learn how to have a relationship with yourself. This isn’t easy, especially because we live in a time when social media causes us to focus more on others than ourselves. That said, learning to love yourself and love being with yourself is not impossible if you know what to focus on. Here are 8 tips on how to build a relationship with yourself.
1. Spend Time with Yourself
Part of the reason why it’s so difficult to learn how to be with yourself is because there is no one way of doing it. Everyone is different, which means that everyone requires different things when developing a self-relationship.
In order to know what you need when it comes to developing a relationship with yourself, you need to get to know yourself first. Spending time alone is a great way to reflect on the person you currently are and who you want to be. For some, this means meditation. For others, it might be sitting at a park bench, taking a soothing bath, or exercising.
Take the time to engage in different activities by yourself and use that me-time to process your emotions and do some self-reflection. You’ll be surprised to find how insightful, witty, and emotionally aware you can be during the quietest moments of our day.
2. Reduce the Negative Self-Talk
Another reason why having a relationship with ourselves is so difficult is because we can be a bit hard on ourselves. Human beings evolved to constantly analyze our actions in order to self-improve, and while that ability has gotten us to the top of the food chain, it’s not very useful when learning how to be nice to ourselves.
Learning how to think of yourself positively is crucial if you want to learn how to improve your relationship with yourself. Negative self-talk comes from the subconscious mind. They dig themselves deep inside your mind and surface when you least expect them to. You need to replace them with positive thoughts about yourself, which can be done with repetition.
Instead of calling yourself names and saying that you can’t do something, be kind and believe in yourself. Start your day by looking in the mirror and giving your reflection a compliment. Tell yourself that you are good enough. It takes some time, but soon enough, the positive thoughts will root themselves inside your subconscious and thinking kindly of yourself will come naturally.
3. Surround Yourself with Your Loved Ones
If you struggle with positive thinking and saying nice things to yourself, surround yourself with your loved ones! You may not be able to say nice things to yourself at first, but the people who love you will. We don’t always see ourselves clearly, but our friends and family often do. When your loved ones point out all your best qualities, it’ll be easier to see them for yourself.
4. Practice Basic Selfcare
The key to practicing selfcare is in doing the things that make you happy and providing a space in which you can de-stress from your day-to-day life. It’s very easy to forget to take care of yourself, but by slowly introducing a routine, you can start having the relationship with yourself you deserve.
There are many activities you can begin to incorporate into your life that are good selfcare acts, such as:
Spending time with people that make you happy
Making time for your hobbies
Exercise
Making yourself a healthy meal
Taking a nap
Playing with pets
5. Treat Yourself Every Now and Then
Make sure that you give yourself something you want every now and again. Treat yourself to small (or big) gifts for your birthday, Christmas, or to celebrate something exciting. Treating yourself is an important part of improving your relationship with yourself because it’s rewarding. You know who you are and what you want, and the fastest way to get it is to simply get it yourself.
It feels good to be able to reward yourself with something you like, which helps establish the idea that you deserve good things. If you didn’t have this mindset before, treating yourself every now and again is a great way to begin healing your relationship with yourself.
6. Take Care of Your Mental Health
Having a relationship with yourself is difficult when you’re struggling with mental health problems. Mental health problems can warp our perception of ourselves. It’s hard to have a relationship with yourself when there seems to be a perpetual cloud over your head.
Take the time to give yourself a mental health check every now and then. You owe it to yourself to make sure that you are emotionally stable and mentally well.
7. Take a Step Back from Social Media
Social media is a great tool that allows us to connect with others, but it can often force us to disconnect from ourselves. Social media can often take the attention we need to give ourselves and redirects it towards other people.
Take regular breaks from social media to center yourself and focus on you. Social media often makes us feel worse about ourselves, but we still use it out of habit. By distancing yourself from it, you’ll notice certain thought patterns that have been keeping you from having a good relationship with yourself.
8. Allow Yourself Time to Improve
Last but not least, give yourself the time that you need to develop a self-relationship. Know that the journey isn’t easy and that you shouldn’t give up just because you feel like it’s taking a long time. You can always refer back to Grit & Grace: 7 Steps to Survive Heartbreak, a book that offers guidance and good reference points so you know that you are on the right path towards a self-relationship. It has a lot of useful information on how to improve your relationship with yourself and what you need to look for when on the path towards personal growth.
What a Healthy Relationship with Yourself Looks Like
How to be in a relationship with yourself is a difficult question to answer. Everyone has a different definition of what it looks like, but it all boils down to this: having the ability to spend time with yourself, knowing who you are and what you want, and having the courage to know that you deserve to have good things.
