How to Move On From a Toxic Relationship
It’s never easy moving on after a relationship. The heartbreak of leaving even a healthy relationship can feel devastating at times. Moving on after a toxic relationship can be even harder. Not only are you dealing with the heartbreak of the relationship ending, but often, you are also dealing with low self esteem and the trauma of emotional abuse.
If you are dealing with a broken heart I would recommend working through the workbook “Grit & Grace: 7 Steps to Survive Heartbreak.” This workbook will take you through 7 practical steps to help you heal mentally and emotionally. Reframing heartbreak and allowing you to move forward and enjoy healthy loving relationships in the future.
Giving yourself the time to heal and to remind yourself how you deserve to be treated is imperative after dysfunctional relationships. And while right now the patterns may seem impossible to break, healing is possible. Then when you start a new relationship, according to the experts, you will be better able to identify any red flags.
Below we look at why it can be so hard to leave a bad relationship. As well as some practical steps that will help you move on from toxic relationships, and prepare yourself for healthy loving relationships in the future.
Why Is It So Hard to Leave a Toxic Relationship
Standing on the outside looking into a toxic relationship it can be very easy to spot the red flags and identify the signs of emotional abuse. However, people suffering the trauma of an unhealthy relationship can have a hard time even acknowledging there is a problem, let alone finding the strength required to end the relationship and rebuild their lives.
Toxic intimate relationships can lead to low self esteem, self doubt, and a desire to fix things and get them back to the way they used to be. If there is any kind of abuse involved, which will often be the case, there is also fear involved.
Damaged Self Esteem
One of the key issues with leaving a toxic relationship is that relational toxicity can be very damaging to your self esteem. Toxic people wear you down over time so you end up feeling worthless and like you are to blame.
Re-building your self esteem is an important part of moving on from a toxic relationship, and you may have to start that process before you are able to end the relationship in the first place.
Wanting to Fix Things
Often you started off in a loving and healthy relationship. When things become toxic there can be a huge desire to try and fix things or wait for them to go back to how they were.
Most relationships go through difficult times. Talking through the issues with your partner and even attending couples counseling can help to break negative cycles of behavior and get you back on track. However, toxic people generally don’t want to change.
Toxic relationships often start with a whirlwind of good times and it can be hard to let go of that dream, even when you know the relationship is no longer healthy.
Physical or Emotional Abuse
Abuse doesn’t occur in a healthy relationship, and no one should have to suffer abuse of any kind. If you recognize signs of abuse in your relationship, whether that is physical or emotional abuse, you should seek help. You can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline for advice and support or talk to someone you trust.
If you are not sure if you are suffering abuse, calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline can help you recognize the signs of abuse and give you the courage to take the next step.
Practical Tips to Help You Move On From a Toxic Relationship
If you want to stop living in the past and move on to form healthy loving relationships you need to spend time on your healing process.
Above all you need to take care of yourself, surround yourself with positive people and take care not to blame yourself, although recognizing any part you played will, of course, only help the healing process.
Surround Yourself With Positivity
Chances are if you have just come out of a toxic relationship your nervous system is in a state of high alert. You’re used to walking on eggshells, constantly trying to avoid conflict.
When you surround yourself with positivity you give your nervous system a chance to recalibrate. Surrounding yourself with positive examples of good relationships will also serve to remind you of what healthy love looks like. And what you deserve.
Focus on Yourself
Focusing on yourself and your own healing is vital when you have come out of a toxic relationship. Sometimes we stay in a bad relationship because we don’t think we deserve any better. Or we accept negative behavior because it’s what we are used to. Your child development and relationships when you were growing up can have a lot to answer for.
Working on loving yourself and accepting that you deserve healthy love and intimate relationships is all part of healing from a broken heart and moving on.
Start doing things you love again, take up a new hobby, treat yourself, practice self care. All these things will help build your self esteem and remind you that you are not hopeless or flawed, you have just been in an unhealthy relationship.
The impacts of toxic relationships can be physical as well as mental or emotional. Constant stress or anxiety can lead to chronic pain, not being able to sleep, and adopting unhealthy lifestyle choices. Taking time after a relationship to focus on yourself and your well being will allow you to start healing in all these areas.
Accept The Relationship Was Toxic
Acceptance is a huge part of being able to heal and move forward after any negative experience.
In accepting that the relationship was toxic you may also have to accept that you are unlikely to get the closure you deserve. Toxic people are rarely willing to accept their wrongdoings.
Acceptance also allows us to let go of any resentment and start the healing process from a much healthier space.
Take The Time You Need
Finally make sure that you take the time you need to heal. There is no one size fits all prescription when it comes to healing a broken heart and moving on from a toxic relationship.
We are all affected in different ways.
If you are tired, take the time you need to rest. If you need therapy, see it out. If you need to rebuild your self esteem, do it slowly, one step at a time. Any investment you make in yourself is an investment in your future happiness. And that will always be worth it.
