An intention is a goal that you’ve thought carefully about and have committed yourself to. When it comes to important communication  - and by important I mean, you’re in  some sort of miscommunication and/or conflict with someone, it’s important to seek resolution. Conflict is extremely uncomfortable and causes a tremendous amount of stress, especially with certain people in our lives. And, if you live with someone, then no doubt you want resolution because living with someone who you’re in conflict with is NOT FUN.

You must decide prior to the conversation if your intention is to win or to create peace and resolution. You must decide if it is to win, or to negotiate. To win, or to repair. To win, or to create closeness. Anyone in the heat of the moment will focus on “ME”, and not “WE”. But if what you want is resolution, you have to focus on “we”.

If what you want is peace and resolution, then that means you wish for both of you to feel better than you did before the conversation. If that is your wish, then how you enter the dialogue (your mood and energy) will be very different then if winning was your intention.

Your intention effects the outcome.