• Never attempt to communicate when in flight or fight. Take a time out, even if for a second to regain your breath. Take longer if you need to.

  • Always be aware of your body language, delivery and voice (physiology)

  • Always be aware of how your words are impacting someone.

  • Delete the phrase “you made me” from your vocabulary.

  • Delete “always”, “never” and “but” from your conversations.

  • Never blame

  • Always be accountable for your stuff.

  • You own the right to end any conversation that has crossed your boundaries.

  • You own the right to have needs and wants, and to express them.

  • Stop expecting others to be able to read your mind.

  • Shift your complaints into requests.

  • Seek to elevate and empower through your communication

  • Be clear.

  • Be vulnerable

  • Sometimes you must agree to disagree, and be ok with that.

  • Never rage. Do that privately by screaming into a pillow if you must.

  • Always aim for connection and resolution.

  • Don’t be afraid to negotiate.

  • Start soft when you have to bring up a request.

  • You can disagree with someone and still remain respectful.

  • Stay close to your body - it will give you signals when something has gone too far.

  • Never retaliate.

  • Ask for more of what you need, and give a reason that motivates the other person: i.e., tell him/her how good it makes you feel when they do meet that need, and if ore grave, express your fear of what might happen to your bond if it isn't met.

  • You can only change yourself. You can influence someone else to change through your changed behavior.

  • Casual conversation is critical for rapport and trust.

  • Be open to other viewpoints.

  • Listen more than you speak.

  • Everyone must be content in order for a negotiation to be considered successful.