To over-think falls on a spectrum, and it’s worth examining what that spectrum is. You could be an intellectually minded person who has a propensity for over analyzation. Then there’s rumination and obsessing, which both have their roots in worry, anxiety, negativity, and some degree of neuroticism. (no judgment, I go there too!!). In obsessive thinking, it really can be quite involuntary. It is hypnotic, and we can feel swallowed by it’s power. It becomes out of control and unmanageable. 

I may be stating the obvious, the reason WHY its so important to do what we can do to combat this is because obsessive thinking leads to negative emotions and consistent negative emotion causes stress. Once we are stressed, our physiology and psychology weakens. That weakened state leads to a greater tendency to “live in our heads”. So, as you can see, it is a hellish and viscous cycle.

My three pillars of excessive negative rumination:

1. ALL THINKING IS A PROCESS OF ASKING QUESTIONS AND ATTEMPTING TO ANSWER THEM

Our brains are wired to figure it out. To problem solve. To complete the puzzle. To find the hidden treasure. We are subconsciously asking ourselves questions ALL THE TIME. And if you’re stuck in negative thought, you could very well be asking yourself: “why me?” “how did his happen? “what am I gonna do?” Rumination is your mind’s attempt to answer such questions. This is the primary function of our brains.

2. OUR MINDS LOVE STORIES

We love to hear them, create them, narrate them. All of us are highly creative beings, and before language was conceptualized and invented, we communicated through imagery. This is why if you pay attention, you’ll notice that we all use metaphor to describe our experiences. For example, “tank is running on empty” “high as a kite” “blossom like a flower” “tug of war” “lead a horse to water, but can’t make it drink” - you get the idea. 

When we get stuck in obsessive thinking, it is because we are replaying a narrative, or a scene over and over again in our heads, trying to figure out what happened. The million dollar question is: what if your interpretation of the story was actually wrong? It usually is. Or at least, partly so.

2. FEAR DRIVES US ALL

Fear drives all ruminative and obsessive thought. Most specifically, it is the fear of the unknown, and as you now know, our minds do not like not knowing. So in attempt to figure it out, we are in fact attempting to solve life’s biggest riddle, which is “how do I gain more control of my life?”. Then there is the fear of not being enough. *for more on this, we recommend the workshop on Fear.

But there’s another fear, and that is the fear of feeling the authentic emotion underneath the worry and anxiety that is driving extreme rumination. For example: Let's say you’re heartbroken after recently breaking up with a love. You might ruminate about various scenarios with your ex and wonder how it could have been done differently. How you could have said something better, or not have said what you said. The endless cycle of trying to figure out what the hell happened will then bombard your nervous system with guilt and worry instead of feeling the sadness of loss and allowing for the waves of grief to run through you. In other words, you may be subconsciously avoiding feeling deep, intense emotions which then inevitably will lead to be feeling stuck in thought. Feeling your feelings is a bodily experience and the only way to move forward is to feel the loss, and let it go. *we recommend the workshop, “EMOTIONS” to further guide you here.