Press play to watch Zoom video above, password: ANXIETY
Generally speaking, anxiety is a normal response to life. Our lives can be very difficult and at times brutal. Life is also filled with a ton of uncertainty as well as things, people, and events that we just cannot control, no matter what. When anxiety becomes pathological, it manifests within a spectrum: Low grade persistent fear to full blown panic attacks. What makes anxiety particularly tricky and unique is in it’s somatic nature. Meaning, our bodies and nervous systems can become extremely habituated to the state of anxiety even if we don't consciously feel anxious. Have you ever felt physically really tense but not mentally anxious? This is what I mean. This is why exercise is extremely beneficial for reducing it, as well as breath work, massage, and other activities such as sound baths (not for everyone).
A well researched theory worth mentioning is that anxiety is not an emotion but rather the suppression or “block” of emotion. According to Dr John Amaral, “physiologically, emotion is the movement of the body tissues accompanied by vibration and sound…anxiety, on the other hand, is the lack of movement, lack of sound/vibration, lack of expression that ends up feeling like pressure, heaviness, inability to breathe….so how do you turn anxiety into an emotion and release it? You must connect to the part of our body that you are disconnecting from and express and move that energy as sound without trying to get rid of or out of the experience”.
The not trying to get out of it is key. Anxiety worsens when we resist it. Often, as with any negative feeling, we have to first and foremost accept that it is there. Resistance always prolongs the feeling.
Here are some key points to understanding anxiety:
It’s rooted in fear. Anxiety is our reaction to the unknown. To feeling out of control and uncertain. Therefore, the more you struggle with needing to control, the bigger your proclivity will be to experience anxiety more often.
Anxiety is a part of life - we all feel it at varying degrees.
It’s extremely somatic: our bodies can feel the tension of anxiety before we are aware of it.
It can be habitual. If you were raised by an anxious parent(s), or if you were born with a sensitive nervous system, anxiety could be a very familiar feeling that you’ll go to every time you’re triggered.
The suppression of grief, sadness or even anger can lead to anxiety.
Anxiety will be stronger when you go through a big hard life event such as a breakup, a death in the family, or even when you make a transition in work or where you live.
BELIEFS
Limiting beliefs are psychological barriers. They prevent us from being able to really “see” the truth of our reality. If you struggle with persistent anxiety, it is very possible that there is a belief you have about yourself, others, or a situation that is responsible for your anxiety. For example, if you believe that life should be easy, you are going to get stressed out when it’s not. Or if you believe that you “should” be a certain way that you are not, that will cause stress.
COMMON BELIEFS / CAUSES THAT CAN LEAD TO ANXIETY
Perfectionism: perfectionism leads to a lot of unnecessary shame when we don’t perform how we believe we “should” perform. Perfectionism is an impossible standard, which means you will never achieve it. Which then means you are literally setting yourself up for never feeling fulfilled when perfectionism is your standard. And you will consistently feel less than. This leads to massive anxiety.
There are specific beliefs that are common drivers for anxiety. Answer each question to determine how you might be subconsciously creating anxious thoughts. These questions are designed to give you insight into the complexities of how our subconscious works:
Do you believe that your needs can rarely if ever be met by your significant other, by you, or by life in general?
Do you trust yourself?
Is the world a scary place to you?
Do you often doubt your ability to figure out life’s problems?
Do you question your mental, emotional and/or physical resilience?
Do you tell yourself you are alone?
Do you often worry about having enough time, money, or love?
For the questions you answered “yes” to, ask yourself:
Is this really true? Do I have evidence of the contrary?
Who modeled this belief for me?
When did this belief begin?
WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT
Identify the source of your anxiety. It may be non - specific because you have been living with it for so long, or more likely it is due to an uncertainty you are facing in life or in a relationship. This gives you context, and context helps.
Meditate. It doesn't matter what kind you do: guided, not guided, with music with music, mantra based, non mantra based. If you’re not familiar with meditation, you’ll find all sorts of dogma on why 1 way is the best way over another. Don’t listen to any of it- instead, find what works for you. It will change anyway. Lots of apps to download and start exploring. I do, however, recommend that you begin your day with it, and try for least 15 minutes. It doesn't matter if your mind gets busier during it - that is par for the course. But if you struggle with anxiety, which I am assuming that you do, you must know that meditation is a game changer.
Exercise. Yoga and martial arts are incredible because of their emphasis on the BREATH and focus. Breath and Focus help our emotions. That being said, I believe ALL exercise helps. Even a long walk.
If you feel panic start, then do this: get very present to your surroundings and start naming things. For example, I once was walking down the street and felt a more intense than usual wave of anxiety seize me. I then started to get very present and I would look at a tree and notice things I never noticed before like a branch I hadn't seen. I’d do this for everything on my path. And I would name it (in my head). I did this for about 5 minutes while I walked, and it was miraculous. I believe this is a buddhist practice.
Eat a meal. I am not advocating stress / emotional eating. But being under nourished, however, is a huge anxiety trigger. According to my personal experience, the principles of Ayurvedic medicine has been profound for my nervous system’s reactivity. Anxiety calls for warm, grounding, cooked foods. Not salads, smoothies or juices. Some medicinal foods for anxiety include: Yams, sweet potatoes, avocado, meat, soups, broths, ghee, and bananas with smooth nut butters. Avoid stimulants. Natural supplements that help: Ashwaganda, reishi, Lemon balm tea or oil, lavender essential oil. Be sure to read about that carefully so you take properly with the correct dosages.
Sleep/rest. Sleep deprivation is now researched to be the #1 trigger of emotional instability.
If you cannot get control over your anxiety, hire a therapist. It’s worth it.
THE CRAZY 8
Whenever life events or circumstances trigger us deeply, we become at risk of developing a very common emotional pattern called the “Crazy 8”. A crazy 8 is when we get stuck vacillating between two disempowering emotions that are foils to one another. For example, when someone is depressed, it’s only a matter of time before that person’s nervous system will be tired of being depressed. She/he will then swing to an emotion that may be equally unproductive, but has a different physiology, focus and language pattern - such as anxiety. After anxiety gets tiresome, she will then swing back to being depressed. It becomes a viscous, crazy-making cycle that can be very challenging to break. We usually have 1 particular crazy 8 pattern that we habitually get stuck in when an area of life feels unmanageable or chaotic. Common triggers are issues in our intimate / interpersonal relationships, with our bodies, and work/career/money.
Example:
CRAZY 8: Depression and Anxiety.
Depression:
Physiology: tired, sluggish, shallow breath, rounded shoulders, slow thoughts and speech, sinking feeling.
Focus: the past, or on a circumstance that you might be enduring.
Language: varies, but a lot “why me’s” “how can this be” “I will never” “I can’t” “I’m not”….
Anxiety:
Physiology: faster shallow breath, tense, energy rises instead of sinks, pressure cooker feeling, fast thoughts and speech.
Focus: the future, but not in a planning for the future kind of way. More like, I’m worried about what might happen.
Language: varies, but a lot of “what ifs”.
JOURNAL
What is your typical Crazy 8?
On a piece of paper, draw an “8” aka, infinity sign, but on its side, so it runs horizontally to your piece of paper. Make it big. Then in the first “bubble” write down the most familiar emotion you experience when you’re triggered. Hint, this is your emotional home under stress. Then, in the other bubble, write down the emotion you go to next.
Are you in a crazy 8 currently? If so, why?
How do you numb yourself to get relief from your crazy 8 - do you eat? Do you watch too much TV? Do you drink or do drugs? Do you oversleep? Over work?
Take some time to really contemplate this answer: What benefit are you getting from each emotion? For example, when we’re angry, we’ll experience a rush of energy that might momentarily feel empowering? If we’re sad or depressed, we go into self-soothing mode, where we connect deeply with our inner selves which provides a level of comfort. Although anxiety can be very scary, if its super familiar, it will provide a level of certainty. In fact, whatever your true emotional home is, it will provide you with certainty. We know the in’s and out’s of our home. That is simply the law of familiarity. *We strongly recommend the workshop, “EMOTIONS” to get a better understanding of your emotional world.
How do we break the cycle of our crazy 8?
What to watch out for:
Numbing: This is the road most travelled, and it never works to end the cycle but rather provides very temporary relief. Everyone has their own go-to. For some it’s alcohol or drugs, other it’s spending money, or watching too much TV, some go to workaholism, or over eating, etc.
Toxic anger: Toxic anger is when we lash out on ourselves and others as well as when we suppress it. Anger can be extremely powerful when you are able to channel it into asserting yourself when you’ve got something to say, (expression) and when you take the charge that's behind anger and transmute it into ACTION.
What to practice:
Surrender. This means letting go of your need to control. UGH. I know how incredibly hard this is. I really do. But feeling out of control is the cause of a crazy 8, so the more you’re addicted to the illusion of control, then the more you’ll feel like you don’t have it.
Radically change your physiology: When you learn that your body is your greatest resource for changing your emotional state, you’ll change your life. You might need to carve out white space and meditate, go for a run, box, dance, yoga, meditate, take a cold shower, or simply drink water or have a grounding meal. “Radical” means that you don't always do what’s comfortable, or familiar. For example, yoga might not be the answer all the time. Can you recall a time when you were distressed, but after you had a great workout, you totally saw the situation differently? That's the power of our bodies.
Curiosity: Go inward with an inquisitive and identify your inner conflict and fear and then change your perspective: Whenever we find ourselves in this cycle repetitively for days, weeks, months, and even years at a time, it’s because life is calling for us to wake up. Your crazy 8 pattern is an alarm. There is a story (or many) and a belief (or many) that you have about your life’s events that are stealing your power and truth. Depending on how severe your crazy 8 is; meaning, depending on how long you’ve been trapped in it, you may absolutely need the help of a coach or therapist to help you uncover and then re-write the disempowering stories, rules, beliefs and blueprints you have about your life.
Get out of your head and go connect with friends and your community. Or spend more time with family. Make sure you are not isolating. I always encourage alone time, but we are pack animals and are not meant for persistent isolation.
Thank you for taking the time to invest in yourself and your emotional fitness. These are not easy patterns to identify and face within ourselves. Do NOT be so hard on yourself to expect that all your distressing patterns will just go away over night. That being said, once we identify and understand what fuels our anxiety and what crazy 8 pattern we go to most, that is when the true healing occurs. We cannot break any pattern that we are not aware of. I do recommend that you do the work outlined in this workshop weekly
NEXT STEPS
Keep at it. Every time you feel the pangs of anxiety, follow the steps previously outlined.
Stay on top of your crazy 8 and face what life is really beckoning for you to do, say, or act on.
To go deeper into the world of your emotions, do the Emotions workshop.
To get Jillian’s morning ritual and her various, (easy to follow) yoga sequences for targeting different emotional states, go to The Reset in the membership.
Join the FB group and submit any questions you have there. I answer them.
ANXIETY
30-DAY CHALLENGE
If you do not have a regular meditation practice or a regular movement practice (this literally could include 10 minutes daily never leaving your home of light yoga, or jumping jacks or dancing like no one is watching you to your favorite music). NOW is the time. Even single day for minimally 30 days.